Thursday, May 17, 2012

All about Me

                I wanted to take a moment and explain why I started this blog. Last year was one of the hardest times of my life. I was barely functioning on a daily basis and couldn't hardly get out of bed.This is hard for a Mom of 3, all of which who have more energy then I know what to do with! So my lack of energy not an equal match. Through a GI doctor I was given $1,200 worth of  blood work alone and an endoscopy. After all that I was diagnosed with mono and I left feeling more frustrated then ever. Almost a year later a friend of mine suggested her family doctor so I went not knowing that visit would change my life forever.He pulled up those same tests the GI did and after a minute he said "So how long have you had celiac disease?"Celiac for those of you who don't know is an autoimmune disease where the body sees gluten as an intruder. That person has to be put on a strict diet of no gluten which is found in almost everything! I couldn't have wheat, barley or rye. I found out that gluten is used as a binder in most foods and medicine. To top it all off it was the day before my birthday! A very odd present I must say. Well I cried that whole day and didn't know what to eat. A whole month of being lost in no gluten land I literally gave up and went into severe depression. Those of you who do not know me I am a very bubbly, out going person so it was like I was looking at a total stranger. This wasn't my life it couldn't be. It seemed like my symptoms defined me, not all but including dizziness, irritability, inability to concentrate, aching muscles, and migraines that were so severe, I caught every bug there was and I was wiped out. I lost friends who didn't understand or had trouble making them.

              This all sounds gloomy which is the opposite of happy but I'm getting to that part I promise. It affected my marriage, and my kids.I think sometimes my husband really must have felt the "old ball and chain" reference quite literally. He stayed by me though even though the house looked like a tornado went through it. My couch had permanent indentations where I would park myself every day, when I would get up. My husband would take over where I couldn't.He did become a much better cook though. So what was I to do? They put me on medication and I had a counselor to talk to.I did this whole fake it till you mak it jazz.Then one day something happened. It was literally like a light bulb went on one day in counseling.She asked me "what if you have this the rest of your life?".I was quite upset that whole day but I decided by some miracle to snap out of it. I didn't feel better physically but the sun was shining through the clouds of gloom. My secret my happiness blueprint is to always start at this one point I am going to share with you, ME. Some of you might be confused but hold on a little longer please. I knew that day even though it really is quite simple is that I am in charge of my happiness, just me. I would worry about what I could control and not the other stuff. I remodeled my bathroom around this same time I discovered this revelation of sorts. If I could remodel my bathroom I could do it to myself.I would start from the inside, which I mean to say my thoughts. As I did this it rolled into every part of my life. I discovered more than just meditation and deep breathing which is what I tried first.I discovered me all over again.I was veracious for information, searching the inter net and books at the libraries. I found and learned so many things that I had to share it with everyone. I love my new hobby of teaching school to my young ones and blogging about it.I want you all to know how passionate I am about this! I can't wait every morning to try something new and share with you all! I want your lives to be better, I want you to stretch yourself, I want you to accept not being a Mom who can do everything. The most important thing is what you do for your kids. I want to give you a boost if you are exhausted or show you how you can get things done and involve your children.There is so much to share! I hope that you, my readers will join my blog and share your comments.By keeping silent you could be depriving someone of your wonderful knowledge and experience.Share this blog with your friends. From one Mom to all you Moms we need to stick together and know that we are not alone in the struggle to raise our children,manage our home, be a chauffeurs and so many other roles that we play. It starts with you! Take baby steps and try not to get discouraged.Celebrate the little accomplishments you make. I know how you can find happiness everyday because I have, even in the midst of chaos.I can find my way back, wipe my slate clean and start over as often as I want to.So can you!!!
                                              Breathe, relax and be calm

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