Monday, September 16, 2013

Meditation Monday-3 steps to a calmer you!

There is too much anger in this world.The way we act towards this emotion varies.Some seem to know when they need to walk away and others become critical,volatile or abusive.It happens to the best of us.Road rage is a good example of a dangerous response to anger.I knew someone who got so mad they kicked a cupboard and broke their toe! Our previous tenants in our rental punched a huge hole in the wall.Angry birds is a popular application today.Speaking of which,there is a great you tube video from angry birds about controlling your emotions.

Anger cannot be contained.If emotions are bottled up for too long they come out all at once like a volcanic eruption! When we are yelling I think that is a sure sign that we are not in control anymore!Who is?I suggest at least 3 steps to get control of yourself again.

1.First of all how many of you have tried progressive relaxing?This is where you tighten a group of muscles, like in your toes and then,release.Notice after you progress up your body how relaxed you feel? When we are angry we tense up but unless we control our anger and can get rid of it we don't relax and we don't feel better.Once you recognize when you are angry you can find ways to let off steam.

2.After we have figured out what our body feels like when we are Angry.We need to identify triggers.This can be tricky.For me a diary is always a way to see if there is a pattern and ultimate ultimately the cause of my anger or whatever the problem may be.I am not sure where this acronym originates but it is HALT.The idea is if you are any of the following to recognize it and stop or halt until you have addressed it:
It is easier said than done but taking a few deep breaths,drinking some water,calling a friend or laying down for a minute can all help us calm our stress and frustration down.We need to take care of our basic needs first!It is no surprise to me that anger is a trigger itself!How many times have we not even know what we are angry about? If it is my kids I tell them to cool off in their room or put them down for a nap.Why is it so hard to manage ourselves?The demands and busyness of our lives are a big factor.Slow down,halt,breathe and think it through.Anger is like playing with fire,you don't know who is going to get burned.

3.Like I mentioned before,it is ok to be angry,but it is how we act to release that anger that matters.It has to go somewhere.My next step would be to suggest you find a healthy outlet.Do you prefer a)physical diffusing by running,swimming or other forms of exercise.I sometimes like to clean. I feel my stress in my hands as I scrub away and I do it fast and I don't even realize it!For some they might be b)more quiet outlet like meditation,yoga.Lastly c)you just need to talk it out with a friend.Try all or some of these if you are not sure.

Anger is unpredictable but it doesn't have to make you out of control.The last thing anyone wants is to be a ticking time bomb!Try to re-teach yourself and redirect this emotion and you can be a calmer happier,healthier you!

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