So what has changed?
I hope you can see the change. I feel the light back in my life even though I am still sick with Fibromyalgia and always having to stop or change my thoughts instead of just running with them. It is as easy to play the victim card, self pity and self loathing as it is to be the victor, humble and self loving when things come into the light. The trick is to trick your brain. Lead your brain along a new path you want it to go. I started doing that 2 years ago and already I can notice when I am triggered and course correct quicker. I can fill my mind with light instead of negative and dark. When I say its easy I mean the choice is. Once you have the knowledge it is up to you to get help and act on it. Getting help and support can look different in so many ways. It may mean therapy, it may mean medicine. It may mean finding routines to keep you out of the dark in the first place. I love what Elder Uchtdorf said in a talk Bearers of Heavenly Light
"Darkness is not an indication that there is no light. Most often, it simply means we’re not in the right place to receive the light."
I was in the wrong place it wasn't me. I wasn't a horrible person after all. I just needed to stand for what and who I was, a daughter of God. I needed to get in a better place to be more open to the support my Heavenly Father was trying to give me. I want you to find support and receive what you need and please be kind and watch that inner critic.
I needed therapy. I am not ashamed. The hardest part was after the sessions I was left with big emotions and not sure what to do next. The darkness and hopelessness were still there. That gave me an idea. It was the feelings of what to do next, where to start to pick up the pieces of your life or how to keep going broken and confused that was the problem. My heart started to reach out more for opportunities to find woman in distress or in stress mode. Most of us are stressed but what if it becomes chronic? I saw how woman were trying so hard to get everything done and feeling unaccomplished at night. A light bulb went off. These woman, you, may be in stress mode and not even know it. I know because that was me.
To make things more interesting, we are all different in our beliefs and thoughts, our challenges and demands on our time. The long lists, the trying to get more done and to be a better mom weighed heavily on me and so many woman I met. We all try so hard but feel like we got nothing done or nothing fun is on our list. We are doing and busy but maybe a little lost because we have become just a mom. Lost and in survival mode and wanting more but not sure how.
I haven't been blogging as much because I started my own group, Motivated mamas. I wanted to create a safe space for moms to go and find the help and support so needed. Motivation comes down to wanting to jump out of bed and start your day to pulling the covers back over your head. My hope is that this community will grow and that we as moms can be our best selves and help our children do the same. The difference for me to being excited for my day and pulling back the covers is YOU. To be there for you when the fears, I don't know what to do next or where to start...... creeps in. You know you want a change but it all feels so overwhelming. We cannot act from a place of stuck and overwhelm. Whether you have followed my journey or just found me today. I hope you come and find what you are looking for. Kiss the stress away and your babies more!
Check it out and share with others moms.https://www.facebook.com/groups/motivatedmamaswithKristianneRushton/
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