Friday, May 27, 2016

How I made it through a rough morning

There is no secret that I love to write. I have a journal I carry everywhere with me. I scribble my feelings. ideas, and a little bit of nonsense. I try so hard every day to battle the many thoughts and my illness that want to steal my happiness from me. I battle the overwhelm of my house and the four royal pains blessings in my life. Everyday is a choice for me! I am learning to take the punches even if they are in my gut.(not literally of course) Those kind of punches knock the wind out of me. They bring me to my knees. They make me ask the tough questions. Questions like: How am I going to get through this or what am I going to do? I am finding the answers and I am writing them down. Why? For you! For my kids. For anyone who is struggling and doesn't know where to start. For the lost and aching souls of Gods children. You!

My morning was rough. It often is. I often have to pry my sleepy eye lids open and lay there until my bladder says I have to move. It is painful because my joints are so stiff. Then I check on my kids and have to try to keep them on task. I have tried charts and telling them they can have extra time in the morning. It is always a rush to get them out the door. Today was no different. I got upset. Words were spoken to me that cut me like a knife. I proceeded to cry for the next half hour and of course now I am drained. I wrote rapidly to get all my thoughts down. A few tears stained the page. Scribble scribble stop! I stopped my negative thought train before it reached the station. Now that I got all that garbly gook out of my brain was this really where I wanted to go? It was like God told me to stop.

This last month I have really been trying to break negative thought patterns. It is tough! I have been listening to a hypnosis tape to release negativity every night. Well in that moment everything came to a halt and the way was clear. I had to break that thought pattern, Again I started writing but this time I switched to a positive track. It was amazing and so liberating. I literally felt that weight being lifted from my shoulders. It all starts with me. My thoughts and offense were not leading me where I wanted to go. Satan is winning as long as he can keep me feeling negative. I am no longer a victim! Let go of the control! Move on!

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." Mosiah 24:15

Later we both were able to talk and listen and there was no fight. Just hugs and reconciliation. How amazing this experience was for me! There is no right way to break the cycle of negative thinking. I have just decided I don't want that anymore and I have been working on my own and with therapy to get it. You may not need therapy but it does require work on your part.

I came across this post from about being a thermostat or a thermometer in our home. It really spoke to me. I wish I had thought of it! A thermostat reacts to the atmosphere in the home and a thermostat determines it. I know I set the tone of my home no matter how crazy or messy my kids and home are. This is the choice I made this morning when I changed my negative thoughts into positive ones! This is how I made it through a rough morning!

How is your day going? Could you use a change for your thoughts and actions? Write down specific question you want to ask yourself when you don't know what to do? This morning I asked myself if what I was doing and feeling was leading to a solution to the problem or was creating more of a problem? I am a worrier so I almost always cause myself more grief than I need to.

How do you turn around a rough morning?

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