Friday, October 4, 2013

Day 4-less comparing more self confidence(31 day challenge) How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy comparing

For those just joining me,there is a great 31 day less and more challenge from Living well and spending less.Click here for the overview and here is my Day 1.

  Today's  challenge :
Think of that one person that you most compare yourself to.  Write down her name.  Write down all of her wonderful traits, all the things you think of when you think of her. And now try to imagine her trials and heartache, the things she’s struggles the most with.  Think about what her life might really be like behind closed doors.  Pray for her.  Maybe even send her a note telling her how much she has inspired you over the years.  In other words, be thankful for her and for people like her, who raise the bar for all of us.  Perhaps we compare ourselves to her because she has learned to be comfortable in her skin and live in gratitude and service for the people in her life.  And over the next month, every time you catch yourself comparing, stop and instead tell yourself “I am enough.”

Since I started these challenges this week I have noticed that each day could be a month's focus all on its own!

Why as parents do we feel the need to do everything perfect? I think I stopped comparing myself,at least to a degree,because I was doing such negative talk for years.I just felt like I wasn't good enough period!

Here are some questions I ask myself when I start to ask myself How does so and so do it?
What makes me think they do it better?
Why do I want to be better at this particular thing?
How much time and energy do I have to devote to it?
Will it make my life better or is it being envious?

If you find yourself wishing you had someone else's life.Look at them as an inspiration.Maybe ask them how they for example,have their girls hair done so cute everyday?Ask them to show you or when they find time.Maybe they get up at 5am everyday.In that case I would thank them and realize I am not willing to give up my sleep.If it is still something you want maybe wake up 10 minutes earlier.If it isn't working tweak the plan or maybe a ponytail is good enough.My daughter barely lets me do her hair,so for me I might try when the mood strikes me.

The definition of inspire:
1. To affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence.
2. To fill with enlivening or exalting emotion: hymns that inspire the congregation; an artist who was inspired by Impressionism.
a. To stimulate to action; motivate: a sales force that was inspired by the prospect of a bonus.
b. To affect or touch: The falling leaves inspired her with sadness.
4. To draw forth; elicit or arouse: a teacher who inspired admiration and respect.
5. To be the cause or source of; bring about: an invention that inspired many imitations.

There is nothing wrong for wanting to be better.I started writing this blog to inspire other woman who might need to know they are not alone.I believe I was guided bu God by divine influence.I have come to recognize inspiration by making sure I am healthy first.Am I eating right,exercising and getting enough sleep.There is no way I can think straight if I am hungry,angry,lonely or tired(halt).I wrote a post about H.A.L.T. here(3 steps to a calmer you).I am liable to compare myself and wallow in self doubt.When you feel awakening and peace with a thought you know you are on the right track and look into why you may feel you need this change and pray about it.If you are thinking you can never do it or no one understands then H.A.L.T and make sure your basics are taken care of FIRST!This is important!You cannot feel enlightened if you do not always do this first.Your mind will be clouded and riddled with guilt and self doubt.I am always hungry like that honey comb cereal commercial where the kid is a monster until he takes a bite.Then you see a normal child again.That is me.I am always HUNGRY!!!!!

One more point I want to make is when trying to take on too much and do it all we might not realize what good things we are giving up.There is an awesome talk given by Dallon H Oaks in October 2007 General Conference called Good better best.Oaks says "We have to forgo some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."

"We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives."

The reason I bring this up with regards to comparing ourselves is that often times we may admire that am certain family can be on the go and have a clean house and their hair and clothes are perfect.We may not know what we might be sacrificing by going after good things to fill our time.Here is an example of what I mean.It is good to plan healthy meals and eat then run to an activity.It is better to have meals  together as much as possible.It is best to have meals planned,kids cook with you,eat and then clean up and play games together.I am not saying this can happen everyday or families on the run are doing it wrong. It is hard to find time with family so we need to take into consideration if what we want to do is really best for the family.If we as Moms spend all our time cleaning,doing our kids hair,volunteering for every activity which  is all good but what would be better for you and your family?

I am grateful for: especially when I have it!
2.the sun chocolate

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