Imagine 4 lion cubs a.k.a. my children, running around doing flips onto the couch and jumping from cushion to cushion. The volume of their screams could only be penetrated by the roar of the Mommy lioness. I am mother hear me ROOOAAARRR! However, this mommy did not want to roar and lose her cool. She sat there with her paws folded waiting for her lion cubs to join her in prayer. They were wild and did not. Disappointed and tired, the lights were turned off so the house became dark. Darkness was how she felt too....
Dark and tired...
Dark with failure.......
Why does it have to be that mothers have to yell to get any attention? It almost always ends up with everyone upset! Tears and drama, drama, drama! To top my night off I was up with my allergy suffering, itching cub. All night! We almost didn't make it to school this morning because I had to peel myself off of the mattress.
Now I am alone, dark and tired.
I am mother hear me cry.
When did being a mother become all about power? More accurately, when did it become more about power struggles? Does anyone else feel this way? Raise your paw. I don't think that the way animals solve a dispute in the wild is how I want to go about solving conflicts. So here is my question to you. How can we, the mothers, get that quick response from her cubs that a lioness can? A lioness roars to call her cubs back to the pride and they listen. My children conveniently forget their names it seems and tune me out until......ROAR!
I am a mother and I have something to say! When did I become such a FIERCE lioness? I feel I am preparing them for life and I am running out of time quickly. No pressure though. When the cubs do not listen it makes me angry so I ROAR my best Mommy ROAR. I love my cubs. They are great! I do enjoy watching my cubs play and wrestle. I enjoy it! Just not at night when someone almost always gets hurt and is screaming like a banshee! But hey, at least their lungs got some exercise. How can I stop these wild cubs? I don't want my cubs to fear me or worse, roar back at me. At that point communication is degraded and lost.
It is time to tame this lioness and focus on creating healthy relationships and self esteem for myself and my children. Words have the power to hurt or heal. Again with the power? Do you feel and know the power you have? Maybe it is time to look at making a softer roar.So choose what you say carefully.
Did you know there are 2 variations of a roar? Well at least there is as of today! I am using the following acronym to transform that scary Roar to:
There are many ways that as Mothers and parents that we can reach out. Anger can actually stop you from reaching out to your cubs. Throw your cub a tasty bone of listening and refraining from giving advice to quickly. They might be surprised and delighted and take a nibble. A lioness can pick up her cub by the tuft of her neck when necessary. EEEEW! Hairball! No thanks! I think I will just set clear limits and consequences for when rules are broken. Cubs need limits, but not too many. Finally give them a tasty slab of options. This is especially true for my boy cubs who want to be mighty kings of the jungle. Last and most important stretch out your paws and pull your cubs in for a furry warm hug.
Once you have reached out then you need to restore what may be lost. You may need to restore order or restore hurt feelings. The cubs might need to do some wound licking of their own too. I used to make the cubs say I am sorry, but now, I ask what they can do to make things right. I hardly ever hear sorry being said through gritted teeth and folded paws anymore.
Children love to wrestle and play. Getting them to stop and listen is tricky. We do not want to use our roars to intimidate or make our cubs feel bad. The trick is to reach out and restore(ROAR) Once us fierce lionesses realize that we can still keep the power and be loving; what can be better than that? Our roars may sound more like purrs of peace. Can we really tame the beast inside? What do you think?