God is like a lighthouse-lessons from the sea

In my last post I mentioned that I have been doing a lot of genealogy on my Mother's side. It has been a lot of fun! My Great Grandpa was a light house keeper and his dad was the captain of the cross rip lightship. I learned how important theses jobs really are. A lightship is like a mobile lighthouse. There job is to light the way and steer the ships away from the sharp rocks.
The biggest trap for me is time goes to fast or it can feel like you do the same thing every day. We need to stop and smell the roses, but at sea, you stop and smell the salt water. Figure out who you are, where you are going and what you like to do. My great Grandpa Howard called his light house "Little Alcatraz". You don't have much to do so he carved wood boats and played the guitar. Each of us need to be forced, in a way to figure out what we want to do. You can feel isolated or at peace on the waters. I think you can feel that way about life. Dark clouds of depression and uncertainty roll in and a violent storm begins. Jesus is not only a light, he is at the helm and he can calm the raging seas. Either way we can be rescued!

My mission in life is to guide my children home and teach them how to sail the seas of life. The thought of me being a light keeps popping into my head. At the top of a lighthouse is where the lantern room surrounded by glass and metal storm panes. The lighthouse keeper cleaned and maintained. To let our light shine we must constantly do maintenance on ourselves. This is hard work! So we just stand there and be a light when the storm is all around us? We have to work on our inner light before we can be a light to others. Only the light within you can become like a radiant sunrise.

I feel lately that I am steering my vessel right into the sharp rocks. I foolishly thought that all the changes I have been making would be making a difference. Well, they are but there have been more bad days than good lately. This has been really hard for me to swallow because I definitely have been needing peace in my home. I feel like each of us with anger and being so frustrated is about to crash into jagged rocks of our trials. Maybe I am trying to guide myself,  and not listening to my guide, Jesus Christ. I hate to see my children struggle. I hate to fight or yell.

Here is our maintenance or cleaning formula for ourselves. 3 Nephi 14:7
 Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

This can take a lifetime! No pressure right? So I have been praying, reading scriptures and inspirational messages. I am seeking advice from other mothers on blogs and neighbors around me. I still feel discouraged. The words that are sticking out to me and ultimately our anchors is LIGHT, CHANGE, KNOWLEDGE, ASK, FAITH and NAVIGATE. To keep the LIGHT burning within, you have to be willing to CHANGE. We need to know for ourselves what is true and to use his atonement when we sin and do wrong. We seek for KNOWLEDGE constantly. Let us make sure we use the best source, the scriptures, and be careful of other sources. ASK in prayer if it is true and for help. With FAITH in God we use all his tools to NAVIGATE through life's trails. All of this is hard and a life long pursuit. We never know when the answers will come but we know if we are guided by his divine light and plan we will be safe.

So I guess for now I keep trying, crying and pleading. Then I  do it again and again and again! I have already embarked on my journey. I need to keep going until my journeys end  and not forget who guides my way and can calm the raging seas. If I am in the darkness all I have to do is look for the light.