Tuesday, November 17, 2015

2 ways you can recharge your relationships today!

Have you ever been in the middle of vacuuming and you reach the end of the cord and yank it out of the wall? I have! I always want to get the job done as fast as I can so I stretch the cord to the limit when I could easily unplug it and move it to a new outlet. This is how I parent sometimes. I get going along thinking that I am doing what is best and then I yank the cord and see the light go out of my child. I know I went too far. It is a heart breaking feeling. In my last post I mentioned how I would like to fix my relationships with my family members that I feel may not be as strong. When we are connected we can work together but when we become unplugged and disconnected that is when relationships suffer. So we need more connection and less correction. We can adjust our thinking and feel empathy. By doing this we plug into them and what they need. I can be very authoritarian and strict at times and that is because I thought that was the only way to teach them and have it stick. My intent unknowingly, however, was to punish and not really teach them. When I am plugged into my children and their needs I look at their behavior and why they may be acting that way. I need to listen and connect.

My best power source is from heaven and I have been trying to keep myself plugged in so I won't make too big of a mistake and lose my temper. I keep making them! I keep trying! Where is this disconnect happening?! I feel the desperation of the situation. I do! Parenting is such a balancing act! If I try to put to much emphasis on discipline and not enough positive reinforcement, I tip the scale. My energy this week has not been where I would like it to. When my energy is gone it is hard to not feel drained. This already tips the scale because I am not feeling well.

What I am saying more or less, is that there is two ways that a relationship can be off. It is either a strain on the relationship or it is off balance somewhere. These don't sound like easy fixes to me! Also I am sort of set in my ways as far as parenting. The thought  'You can't teach an old dog new tricks." comes to my mind. Well the old part of that saying  is true for me, anyways. It is a matter of  retraining my brain. My head hurts just thinking about that! Any one who has ever done training for an event or work knows it is hard. You have to start slow and then build up gradually. So lets say we are training for a 5k run. We know to run the whole thing is the goal. Start by running short distances and increasing that distance. The goal for our families should to see the end picture in mind. Imagine 5 or 10 years from now. What do you see and want? I want to see happy children and happy Mommy. I want to see us singing and laughing and making cookies. I want the children to want to be home and not play their video games or watch their shows. I want to go on a date with my husband each week and have special dates with our kids. This is just a glimpse into my plan. Write how you will get there and think about all the aspects of your life.The more specific the more you have to hold onto. Once you have that clear picture in your head, hold on to it. Don't just live in imagination land. Write it down and dream about it. We can find 5k ways to connect with our kids. There are a few things you need to give you a jump start and time to re energize before you can start this marathon.

Here is what I suggest. Your relationships might need a recharge. To do this I am going to mention a few ways to go about this. Just like there are 2 prongs on an electrical cord, there are two ways you can bring you and your relationships back to life.
  1. Unplug to plug in- Unplug and turn off  your devices. Your children need to do this too! Take a few minutes to connect with your child. Talk, laugh, hug and be aware of it. You can soak it all in like a mommy sponge. Pick an amount of time 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes. Whatever you choose make it attainable. Ask them about what they like to do. Remember watching a movie together doesn't count! Let your children be plugged into you. You are their emotional outlet. They feed off your energy and how you feel emotionally and physically. This should help with a strain in a relationship.
  2. Recharge your batteries- If something is off with your family it could be you. Have you taken time for yourself to feel charged physically and emotionally. Do something that calms, restores and rejuvenates you. Then look at your big picture and figure out what is most important from there. When something is off it is best to look at ourselves under a "magnifying glass" to see if we are doing anything to contribute to the situation. In order to dive into this inward search we have to be ready and rested. This important step should help you feel more balanced.
These 2 ways should immediately create this spark within you and your child. Go plug into what matters! Once you are connected then you can work on what needs to be corrected. What relationships do you have picked out in your mind? What can you do to take better care of yourself?

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