All these ailments on their own are manageable but all together I feel like I am walking in a mine field. Yesterday I hit a land mine and blew up. It is going to take a while to put all those pieces of me back together but I am getting stronger! It is okay if I take baby steps or crawl. I don't have to keep up. I can be an inspiration to others. I am courageous! I have been telling myself these things since yesterday and I feel them lifting me a little higher and to be a little better.
I had this visual come to me as I was sitting in the car waiting for my son at school. I saw all of all the areas in my life that I want to work on are like empty jars. I can try to add to one each day. I am making major deposits into my health jar but maybe my relationships or house need some love. Either way I am making effort in all areas. I then imagined at the end of the day I get to take all these jars and pour it into one big jar that I will call fulfillment. Pretty soon these jars are filled with all the little things that I have done through out my day. I get to recognize my efforts big or small. It is like the scripture says in Alma 36:7
" Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."
I want to make giant leaps but first of all I have small legs. I am what they call "vertically challenged" My steps are not as big as others. I always have to ask my husband to slow down. He doesn't act like it is a big imposition and we usually walk arm and arm. Every time I want to take a giant step God says "slowdown."
If I listen I won't step on the land mine and blow up. If I don't then my emotions get the best of me. I am so touched by all the messages and texts I have received from friends and family. I promise I am okay and I write the good and the bad in hopes to help someone. I have that hunger to grow and be better and with each step I am closer to getting out of this land mine.
All of us need to stop feeling guilty and compare ourselves to others. Feeling shame, stress, guilt or low self worth are all things that will trip us up and land us into a land mine. We need a detox from all this stress. It is like saying I am not going to take another step in this mine field until I am sure I can continue. It isn't safe to drive when you are tired and it isn't safe to deal with emotions when you are overly stressed. It is okay to retreat and deal with pain, loss, illness or pure exhaustion. Here is what I suggest. Take a week or how ever long you need and make these things a priority. I think it might take months but you tailor it to you.
- Choose from this point forward that you will try to remain positive. Don't be hard on yourself if you think negatively. Just recognize that it is lie and keep going.
- Spend as much time with your family unplugged. Don't think about your to do list or if you have to be somewhere just enjoy every minute. Go outside together, read books and scriptures together.
- Rediscover what helps you relax. I tried tai chi this morning and was surprised at how much I liked it. I am still a hug advocate of yoga though. Take time each day to distress. Pick a time and stick to it. I have been thinking about doing yoga with my kids before bed again.
- Reduce toxic loads. What are you and your families triggers. Is there any allergies and sensitivities. Allergies can take a long time to discover so take your time with this. Gluten, sugar and dairy are common culprits. Again take a break from all screens.
- Reduce clutter- Get the whole family on board and make a plan. Reduce emotional clutter too.
- Hold a family meeting daily to discuss only the positives that have seen with these changes and encourage everyone to keep going. This won't work unless you get everyone on board in your household. Write fun things to do together inside and outside the home.