Candy is yummy. Too much Candy is yucky. Have you ever read those Yummy Yucky kid books? It is pretty straight forward really. Eating the wrong things can make you sick. Even too much of a good thing can make you sick. One of my kids has a major sweet tooth. He was at his Aunt and Uncles the other week and ate a full bag of candy. Well it didn't take long for his tummy to hurt and he was feeling pretty sick. I feel the same way when I read all the how to parent articles. Too much and I feel like I am the worst parent in the world. You could say it gives me a yucky feeling.
I write these "How to" posts myself and so many others do as well. It does help to feel like you aren't alone in any given situation that you find yourself in. However, just like candy I need to stop after a couple of articles so that I don't feel overwhelmed. I feel like I have been doing the equivalent to eating myself into a sugar coma. I have been searching and searching for answers to it all, because I always see the big picture being a Type A personality. I am trying to catch up but I am putting too much pressure on myself and probably my family. I need to put away the magnifying glass that is making everything seem so large and unmanageable.
So here is the question I have been pondering about. What is most important? What makes me feel yummy? Yucky? Ask yourself when you see your long list of things to get done.
What is most important? For me it has always been my family. Family is central to God's plan. Put down you lists or your phones and see what is most important to you. Pick up your child. Look out the window or step outside. Slow down.
Even if we manage to slow down and not make ourselves sick, things still can drive us crazy. Yes my house drives me crazy. But I am only giving it some of my time. The rest is for my family. I am going to stop walking around wanting to fix everything and everyone. If I try to control my kids I feel yucky. I am so worried about their future that I am missing their present. I am going to stop worrying so much about this child or that mess. Of course, I expect that I will keep making mistakes because we all do.
We are also limited by our schedules, work, school, abilities, and illness. I was feeling these limitations last night and found comfort from the words of Gordon B Hinckley
"We also know that there need be no limits on enthusiasm, planning, thoughtful consideration and effort."
I can be as happy as I want to be. Some days I have to dig real deep. Heavenly Father put us on the earth to be happy. I do not have to let my circumstances inhibit my enthusiasm, planning or effort. I keep trying. Russell M. Nelson said "Men are that they might have joy- not guilt trips."
We can make ourselves feel yucky with guilt, shame, abuse, anxiety, depression and illness. How sad this world has become that we need to put on this facade that everything is okay. I thought I had to hold it all in and there wouldn't be a day that brought me to my knees and tears. I have been a victim of my life for so long. I have felt overwhelmed by my circumstances and my house.
Life is messy and many times yucky. We get mad. We cry. We hold too much inside.
My hope is that in my words you might say "Hey I do that too!
Life are appetizers of emotions and experience. Often times we taste the bitterness and sadness. We become full on these appetizers and can't enjoy our feast. Filling up on these negative emotions has only added to my despair and crippled me.
I hope that you can find what you need to let go of. It might be good but it might not be the right time.
My hope is that you speak out and not hold in the pain.
Find where you feel yucky. It is a balance. Even too much of good thing can make you feel yucky. Too much shame or worry. Too much cleaning. Too much busyness.
I paid the price with my health and piece of mind.
I am done feeling helpless. I am done letting my circumstances control me. I am done feeling yucky.
Break free from your past.
Learn to love others who have hurt you and love yourself.
Are you done? Do you feel yucky? What are you willing to do or give up to feel yummy again?