I have a little confession to make! I just wrote a big long post and vented! I am a real in who I am and the voice I want when writing about my life. However I did not want you to read my words dripping with anger and frustration, so I erased it all! Let me tell you though it wasn't pretty and my to do list is gathering dust. I don't want to fight I want to surrender and scream for help! Do you feel that way?
Honestly I could blame it on all the forces of nature against me right now. I am stuck in a tornado of emotion. I know ultimately that I choose my behavior. All this anger and frustration is like a cyclone going through me. What will be left after the storm is over? I feel off balanced and lost. My kids are good kids but they have really been challenging to say the least! The last few day have been watching the clock until nap time and even nap time has had its challenges. The more the kids fight or didn't listen the more angry I became. I yelled and I hate that.
The kids are in bed and I am filled with regret and wondering if I did anything right today. When it all boils down to it I want to be in control. The first thing to fly out the window is my patience and not surprisingly my kid's patience as well. What is really strange is that we have had devotionals in the morning and prayers. That should be starting our days off on the right tone.
Children want to please their parents. I know if my children do not feel like they can please me they act out. Parent and child should not be fighting against each other! There is no harmony when we are all digging our heals in right? I need some training or classes on dealing with strong will. We are all strong and that makes us all have the leadership qualities within us. How do I let my children lead without leading me to the loony bin.
Try....try again.......adjust...........try..........try.......try......
Maybe I need to surrender a little bit. Not that the kids are right in being stubborn but I don't have to be so strict.
My plan of action:
Tomorrow I plan on asking the kids about the routine and how they feel about it. I hope to have more individual time with them and apologize for the last couple of days being off. I guess I am no master of my feelings so how can I expect the kids to be too? Then I am going to say yes as much as I can and stay away from nagging like it is the plague!
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