Saturday, June 13, 2015

9 ways to get out of a mommy rut and stay out!

2 Nephi 25:25-26

 25 For, for this end was the law given; wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith; yet we keep the law because of the commandments.
 26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.
I love this verses and it reminds me to be even more diligent on what I am teaching my children. I have been in a rut lately with my kids. There is tension and frustration and I feel more like a prison guard than a Mother. I heard a quote that sometimes you have to move backwards to move forward. I can think of many times where I tried to back out from somewhere in my car, only to have to move forward and then back and then forward and back again. My husband always laughs at me because it can be difficult to get just the right angle that I need to get out, especially my garage. In the case with my children that is exactly how it has been going. One of the best  ways to go backwards is to go back to the basics. This is where this scripture comes in. Heavenly Father does not want to be squeezed in to our busy lives or our children's. They need to know by our example what we hold most sacred. Our Savior gave up his life so we could have everything. We are gifted these children to teach and it is everything! It also over so fast! It should be as important to our spiritual souls as eating and sleeping is to our physical bodies.

I shouldn't have to yell and scream. It changes the feel of our home and there is no way I can teach or guide my children.  I need to come at it from a different angle. I am really not sure what I am going to do exactly but I know what is at stake and that it is important to me to not get lost. I always turn to researching and learning all I can. My children can't ignore me.  If they tune me out they tune out being teachable. It is silly really. They don't want to do school or chores because it is Summer and they should have fun. This mentality worries me the most I think. Maybe they don't see me as an authority figure because I have been so sick? On the outside I smile and carry on, but inside I am broken and confused. It is like I have a team of horses that don't want to pull their weight or move at all.

 It is not easy for me to write posts where I feel I am failing but I hold the reins. I cannot fail! Maybe I am holding the reins too tight or like I am the captain of a mutinous crew? What do I do? I need to get out of this rut! Maybe my children are in a rut too? Here are some ways to get out of a rut. If you keep doing these 9 things it should keep you out of one too!
  1. Try to change something up. Find a new routine or new way to put the spark back into a relationship. A strong relationship is like a bridge. If it is strong it will always lead them back to you and you will always have a way to them. I could try to make things more exciting! Change a habit or try a new hobby.
  2. Write in a journal. Express your worries or feelings of your day. It may help you see the problem.
  3. Look for inspiration. Find someone who is going through something similar. That is what I love about blogs!
  4. Try to go against your personality type. What I mean by that is it will not come naturally to you. I have a type A personality so I can be very controlling and manipulative. Therefore, I need to give some slack on my "mommy reins". This is a big goal so the next step would be to....
  5. Break this big goal into smaller goals so that you don't get overwhelmed.  
  6. Learn to recognize when I am feeling stressed as well as my kids and take time to relax and come back to the situation.
  7. Remind yourself that this rut you are in will pass.
  8. Take responsibility and see what you are doing to contribute to the problem. Also be prepared to resolve conflicts where they may be needed. In this case I need to resolve it with my kids and tell them I am sorry for the way I have been handling things.
  9. Take control of the change you want. Be willing to work hard and constantly until you reach your vision.
Here I go! Wish me luck!

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