Day 18 for 31 days of May-keovers-How to pace yourself, not race yourself

I am a little emotional today and I hope that it doesn't leak out too much in my writing. I have to take a step back today. Where is Mama? my 2 year old is asking. I can hear it in the background as I write this post. Where am I? Ironically this whole month my plan was to do all sorts of fun May-keovers. Instead, the words pouring from my mind are that of survival and wanting to work through my feelings. The funny thing about living in survival is that eventually you run out of supplies. My most important supply right now is hope. I can't run out of hope!

Again I ask the question where am I? I feel like I am looking in every direction right now. I want to have the energy to finish the toy room. The toy room and several other projects were on my list to do this month. I can feel the stress building up in my home. My husband is picking up my slack and even the simplest task hurts and drains my energy. I feel like the fog has rolled in and I cannot see anything clearly. Luckily I have wonderful friends and family who have been watching my kids while I rest. I wish this pain would give it a rest too!!

I have had more alone time last week than I have in a long time. This alone time has given me a lot of time to think and decide what I want. I want to be healthy, but that is out of my  control. I want to have time with my family and get my house clear of the clutter. I want to have adventures and be creative. Most importantly, I want my children to grow up happy and strong. I want friends and to make them happy. I want to make my spouse happy. I hope some day to be a life coach. I want these things but I wear a mask right now, to hide my pain. I receive help and I am grateful but I feel alone in my feelings. There are many things I want to change but the question is where do I start? Can I start all over? My present day and future are so foggy right now. My journey is to feel well again and not loose my family and friends. I have taken the first step by letting friends know, but most of these woman are power woman. I feel they cannot fully understand.

I am sure most of you reading this blog do not have an invisible illness, but most, have an endless to do list. Each day we race the clock to fit it all in. Pacing yourself can be limiting your list to 3 important tasks and then you do something you enjoy. When faced with an overwhelming task set a timer, You decide what is best. I find 15 minutes is usually a good pace. Also, tackle the hard things first.When we rush through our day, who are we competing against? What for? Yes the mundane tasks must get done, but if there is no time for anything else; some revising may need to happen.

Today's assignment:
Make your to do list for tomorrow. Pick 3 most important tasks or goals. Break those 3 tasks/goals into smaller ones. Then break those in half again. Errands count as a task too! I will show you what I mean below.Schedule time to do something you love and don't make any excuses why you can't do it!
Of course you know yourself the best. You are either the tortoise or the hare when it comes to your day. Are you slow but steady or fast and furious? I know that the hare is lazy and takes a nap, but that part is not my emphasis.. I am looking at it more from the speed point of view and trying to keep up with our busy schedules. We tend to not have tine for ourselves. If you are more like the hare, try not too keep up with your neighbors and friends. We can learn a lot from both spectrum.

Example:
1. Clean kitchen

• clear table
• clear counters of dishes and load dishes

2. Laundry

• one load washed and folded

3.vacuum

• clean floor of objects
• vacuum upstairs
• vacuum stairs

Start laundry and do kitchen. Take a 10-15 minute break. Move laundry through and vacuum. Take a 10-15 min break. Fold laundry and put away. Then relax, read a book, go outside etc..... Whatever you enjoy! Then decide what you want to do next. I like to choose at night but whatever is best for you. I need to pace myself with my writing too! It usually takes 4-5 hours to write, edit and publish a post.

My goals
1.Help my family understand Fibromyalgia and my pain

• write down what I want to talk about and have my family do the same
• talk without getting emotional. If I do; I should stop.

2.learn to pace myself- set a timer for 5-10 minutes and do my 3 MIT's
3.find a support group for Fibromyalgia
4.stay active

• Get up every hour and move for 10 minutes. Then rest.